Birthday Jokes That Take the Cake – Part 2

The long-awaited second part of the Birthday Jokes list is finally live. If you have missed the first installment, you can read it here. Enjoy!

 

Forget about the past, you can’t change it.
Forget about the future, you can’t predict it.
Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one.

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I intend to live forever — so far, so good!
–Stephen Wright

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You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake…
You still chase women, but only downhill.
–Bob Hope

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Age is a question of mind over matter.  If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
–Satchel Paige

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What is the left side of a birthday cake?
The side that’s not eaten.

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Q: What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake?
A: “What’s eating you?”

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Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. I told my computer that today is my birthday, and it said that I needed an upgrade

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David’s wife is mad at him because he forgot her birthday. David saves his skin. ‘Sweetheart,’ he says. ‘How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older?’

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I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.

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