Birthday Jokes That Take the Cake – Part 1

Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.
–Edward Morykwas
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The seven ages of man: spills, drills, thrills, bills, ills, pills and wills.
– Richard J. Needham

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Thanks to Facebook, I never forget the birthdays of people I don’t really know.
– Andy Borowitz

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The number one cause of death is too many birthdays.
– Anonymous

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Middle age is when you’re faced with two temptations and you choose the one that will get you home by nine o’clock.
– Ronald Reagan

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If you’re given a birthday card with no money in it and no present attached to it, good manners dictate that the minimum length of time you should act like you’re actually reading it is eleven seconds.
– Anonymous

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Don’t give me scratch-off lottery tickets for a present and then say, “If you win, we have to split it.” No, that’s not how presents work. I don’t buy you boots and then ask for the left one back or wine coolers and then keep two. Have some etiquette.
– Ruminations.com

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You know you’re getting old when you have more candles on your cake than friends at your birthday party.
– Melanie White

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It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, “Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, you’ll find one at the end of your arm.”
– Sam Levenson

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The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.
– Robert Orben

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