Birthday Jokes That Take the Cake โ€“ Part 1

Birthdays are natureโ€™s way of telling us to eat more cake.
โ€“Edward Morykwas
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The seven ages of man: spills, drills, thrills, bills, ills, pills and wills.
โ€“ Richard J. Needham

ย โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”

Thanks to Facebook, I never forget the birthdays of people I donโ€™t really know.
โ€“ Andy Borowitz

ย ย โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”

The number one cause of death is too many birthdays.
โ€“ Anonymous

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Middle age is when youโ€™re faced with two temptations and you choose the one that will get you home by nine oโ€™clock.
โ€“ Ronald Reagan

ย ย โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”

If youโ€™re given a birthday card with no money in it and no present attached to it, good manners dictate that the minimum length of time you should act like youโ€™re actually reading it is eleven seconds.
โ€“ Anonymous

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Donโ€™t give me scratch-off lottery tickets for a present and then say, โ€œIf you win, we have to split it.โ€ No, thatโ€™s not how presents work. I donโ€™t buy you boots and then ask for the left one back or wine coolers and then keep two. Have some etiquette.
โ€“ Ruminations.com

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You know youโ€™re getting old when you have more candles on your cake than friends at your birthday party.
โ€“ Melanie White

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It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, โ€œRemember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, youโ€™ll find one at the end of your arm.โ€
โ€“ Sam Levenson

ย ย โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”

The best birthdays of all are those that havenโ€™t arrived yet.
โ€“ Robert Orben

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